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Donald Trump Mark Esper National Press Conference USNS Comfort

Donald Trump sends off the USNS Comfort

Today we have Donald Trump and the United States Secretary Of Defense, Mark Esper, COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM THE USNS COMFORT IN NORFOLK, VIRGINA!

Donald Trump and Mark Esper walk out to “hail to the chief” in front of a huge white naval ship. Trump’s face looks to have graduated from orange to a much redder color on my TV screen. I assume he’s trying to match the red cross on the medical ship.

MARK ESPER

  • “Thank you to our president for”… something, something, something, whatever.
  • NOTE FROM ME: I mentally tuned out during this obligatory line, because he hasn’t done anything here worthy of praise. Never forget, WE THE PEOPLE employ the president, not the other way around! That Navy ship belongs to US, the citizens of The United States of America! When Trump is no longer president, those Navy ships will still belong to the country and he will have no more power over them than I do. I’m not going to thank him for properly using the resources the American people have given him to use in a crisis. That’s literally the bare minimum requirement of his job.
  • ADDITIONAL NOTE: But, a giant thank you to our military for doing a fantastic job in spite of being led by a deranged toddler! That thank you is from me!
  • The department of defense is focused on three priorities.
  • Number one: protecting our service members, civilians, and their families. They are committed to taking all necessary measures to safeguard the well being of our most important resource, our people.
  • Number two: remaining prepared to carry out our core national security missions, and to defend The United States against any threat.
  • Number three: continuing to support Trump’s response to the coronavirus.
  • NOTE FROM ME: How are number one and number three different???
  • For several weeks the armed services and the National Guard have been surging resources, supplies, research and personnel to help the fight against the coronavirus.
  • Thousands of National Guard troops have been mobilized across the country, doing a variety of tasks ranging from logistics to medical support.
  • Much needed support is being sent to the most impacted parts of the country (New York and California).
  • Military doctors have been doing research and development on accelerating a vaccine and therapeutics, working alongside our public and private sector doctors.
  • In our nation’s moment of need, 45 has ordered the deployment of our nation’s “most powerful symbols of medical care and compassion” the Navy’s two hospital ships, The USNS Mercy and USNS Comfort.
  • NOTE FROM ME: Our whole navy only has two hospital ships? Am I the only one that thinks this sounds wild? My cousin served in the Navy. I have questions for him now!
  • The USNS Comfort will serve a critical role in relieving some of the pressure on hospitals in the New York area. AND WE THANK THEM FOR THAT! I know I do!
  • Mark also thanks them, and then he says some congratulatory words about the bloated oompa loompa standing behind him.
  • We will get through this together, and we will prevail.

DONALD TRUMP

  • He uses one of the four or five descriptive vocabulary words he knows, and says Mark is doing a “fantastic” job.
  • “I am deeply honored to be at” *checks notes* “naval station norfolk” *continues checking notes* “the largest naval base” *looks up* “anywhere in the world” *checks notes* “and the home to the most powerful fleet” *squints* “that has ever sailed the seas”.
  • QUOTE: “I just passed some of the most beautiful, and highly lethal, ships that I’ve ever seen in my life, and there are a lot of them!”
  • “We’re grateful to be joined by” *checks notes* “commander of the..” *squints* “US fleet forces, Admiral Christopher Grady” *checks notes* “and commander of the US second fleet, Vice Admiral Woody Lewis.”
  • “Our country is at war with an invisible enemy, we are marshalling the full power of the American nation, economic, scientific, medical, and military, to vanquish the virus. And we will do that.”
  • NOTE FROM ME: You guys, he honestly sounds sick to me. *raises eyebrow*
  • He expresses his gratitude to the people in US Armed services, who are all worth a million times what he is (my words), who are on the way to New York.
  • “This great ship behind me is a 70,000 ton messgage of hope and solidarity to the incredible people of New York. A place I know very well. A place I love. We’re here for you, we’re fighting for you, and we’re with you all the way and we always will be. You have the unwavering support of the entire nation, the entire government, and the entire…” *checks notes* “…American people.”
  • NOTE FROM ME: Maybe I’m just feeling emotional thinking about all the great men and women in the US Navy who are on their way to help my city, but I actually think Trump sounded rather sincere just now. Maybe De Blasio attempting to reach him with images of Elmhurst Hospital actually did have some effect.
  • The USNS was scheduled for four weeks of maintenance, but they were able to turn her around in just four days instead.
  • It will arrive at pier 90 in Manhattan on Monday.
  • It’s crew will begin treating patients on Tuesday.
  • It will be met in New York Harbor by Governor Cuomo.
  • It will provide a critical surge capacity for the New York metro area.
  • Their mission will be to care for New Yorkers who do not have the virus, but require urgent care for other problems. By serving people who do not have COVID-19 away from the city hospitals, beds will be freed up for people who do have the virus. This will also make it less likely that someone will come into a hospital for an unrelated problem and leave with COVID-19.
  • The ship is fully stocked for any medical need that should arise.
  • It’s sister ship, the USNS Mercy, arrived ahead of schedule on the west coast in port yesterday in California. It is performing a similar mission for the people of Los Angeles. It is fully loaded with 12 operating rooms, 1,000 hospital beds, a pharmacy, an optometry lab, a radiology unit, a cat scan, and a lot of other things. It also has a helicopter pad. But, most importantly, it has an outstanding crew of 1,200 clinicians.
  • The crew of the USNS Comfort and the USNS Mercy are among the best medical professionals in the world.
  • “I also want to remind everyone of the CDC’s latest guidance. If you are from the New York metropolitan area, and you travel elsewhere, we need you to self quarantine for 14 days to help us contain the spread of the virus. And I am now considering, and will make a decision very quickly, very shortly a quarantine because it’s such a hot area of New York, New Jersey and Connecticut, and we’ll be announcing one way or another fairly soon. This does not apply to people such as truckers from outside the New York area who are making deliveries, or simply transiting through. It won’t affect trade in any way.”
  • NOTE FROM ME: These words created panic in some parts of the city today, with some people imagining that we would be locked in and left without supplies. This is a prime example of Trump’s incompetence as a leader. Why would you tell people you’re floating this idea if you don’t have any guidelines for how it would look? If you’re going to tell people their whole state might be quarantined for an indeterminate amount of time, you have to be able to tell people what that actually means. Or else people will assume the worst. But, for the record, we’re already on lockdown in New York City. So, I don’t see how a statewide quarantine would change anything.
  • Four medical centers have already been completed in New York. He is also giving New York “four large tents, which they need very badly”. I am wondering if he means the four other field hospitals, which are all definitely not tents.
  • “Two big words… READY. RESERVES.” he talks about all the people we have on reserve to help in this fight, and all of the supplies that are being sent to New York.
  • He says FEMA has so far shipped 11.6 million N95 masks, 26 million surgical masks, 5.2 million face shields, 4.3 million surgical gowns, 22 million gloves, and 8,100 ventilators. I think these numbers are national.
  • He reminds everyone that this week he used the defense production act to compel General Motors to produce ventilators and says that he thinks “they’re gonna do a great job”.
  • He says that all of our nation’s ventilator companies have been working around the clock to make more ventilators, and adds that if we make too many it’s ok because we can ship them to the UK.
  • Just a reminder, Boris “let’s destroy our relationship with the rest of Europe” Johnson has COVID-19. As does Rand Paul here in the US.
  • Trump says he asked Boris how he was doing, and Boris replied “WE NEED VENTILATORS.”
  • Trump says the ventilator is a very complicated piece of machinery, “perhaps more so than a car”.
  • He hopes that we soon have enough ventilators to help other countries, and you know what guys? I do too. I’m just concerned by Trump’s sudden interest in altruism. It doesn’t track with anything we know about him, so I am suspicious.
  • In the next 100 days, we will produce three times as many ventilators as we typically do in a year.
  • The factories of many large companies are being modified to make medical supplies.
  • He praises himself for the relief bill again.
  • He reminds everyone that tax day has been moved to July.
  • He says we are still looking for new treatments and vaccines.
  • He says we have had “much death”. *shakes head*
  • He says that there are now 151 countries dealing with this virus around the world.
  • He repeats again that we are “the number one tester” in the world.
  • NOTE FROM ME: You guys.. WE’RE NUMBER ONE! WE’RE NUMBER ONE! U-S-A! U-S-A!
  • He repeats again that we have “learned a lot”.
  • Golf bless America. That’s a typo, AND IT STAYS.

“Stars And Stripes Forever” plays jubilantly as the ship slowly pulls away, and it’s hard to believe that this is real life and that this giant beast of a ship is on it’s way here to New York City. You know we New Yorkers love a good fleet week, but this isn’t exactly what we usually have in mind. Nevertheless, I am extremely grateful to the fine professionals in our United States Navy for their aid to my city. No matter what differences I may have with the politicians in the White House, I want to be clear about the fact that I have nothing but admiration for our armed services. Thank you for your help, USNS Comfort. You are appreciated.

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